Penat!!!!!!!!!!!

Wa, wa, wa................ penat and mengantuk, mata i dah nak pejam je ni, i need coffee........... very badly. I've been running up and down non stop, lutut i dah mcm nak tercabut. Serving 3 bosses at the same time can really kill me, downloading email bukan main banyak lagi, dah tak tahan, tak sanggup, oh cukup, sudah lah, i telah dihimpit ngan keje yg banyak sangat. I need a break, i need a vacation very badly. Eh apadah i merintih mcm drama minggu ini pulak. Over lah sangat i ni kan. Ai mana lah tau ada bakat berlakon boleh masuk tv kan, kan, kan. But in actual fact memang keje i banyak, buat keje org sampai i punya sendiri tak terbuat, so ni dah nak kena rushing to finish my work so i will not be disturb when i am on leave. But b4 i concentrate on my work, i curi tulang jap je lah, berblogging.

Oh ya besok i dah mula cuti untuk jaga my mil due to her eye operation, menantu mithali lah katakan. So i got one small and one big baby to look after. I pun dah set menu what to cook, i tak nak pening2 thinking apa nak masak, apa nak masak, kalau dah buat persiapan awal kan senang. My mil is not an easy person to stay with, she is fussy, demanding and very the authoritian. She is not an easy person to talk too either, macam mana lah u try to explain to her she will digest it wrongly, kita ckp subject A and she will digest it and subject B will come out. Even my pak metua pun tak leh nak ckp ngan dia. Garang gila beb mak metua i, sampaikan i naik phobia nak ckp or berbincang ngan dia, so most of the time i diam je, she say lah what she want to say, i will just keep quiet tak nak komen apa2 takut nanti gaduh or selisih faham and put my DH in a difficult position, mana mak, mana isteri so the best medicine is diam, tutup mulut rapat2. I ingat pesan arwah bonda i, kalau kita dosa ngan mak sendiri, kita nangis mintak ampun mak tak kan sampai hati and mak akan sentiasa maafkan kita tapi kalau mak metua belum tau and bonda i juga pesan untuk jaga tatah tertib i bila ngan mak metua i sebab ia akan reflect how my dearest mother brought me up. Sebab itulah mcm mana i sedih or geram or kekadang tu mcm nak meletup i diam je and my DH lah tempat i meletup and mengamok sakan, well i have to release it somewhere or to someone, like it or not he has to face it. I dah jadi menantu dia 10 tahun and i've been staying with her for the past 4 years, initially masa start staying together, phew yo i have to do a lot of adjustment, sampai kan dah nak slip into depression nasib baik tak sampai ke situ, Alhamdullilah sekarang dah ok sikit, i tak nak layan kan perasaan, masuk telinga kanan kluar kiri dah, hear no evil, see no evil that is my attitude now.

The truth is i am very nervous, looking aft my mil, slalu nya she will be able to do things for herself but from tomorrow onwards and until next week she will depend on me to do things for her so i rasa pressure juga takut dia tak suka layanan i, ada je yang tak kena, then how? Sebab org sakit ni slalu nya cranky. Tak pa, sabar, don't worry this is not the 1st time i jaga org sakit, i kan pernah jaga arwah bonda i dulu so sama je lah tapi arwah bonda i tak cerewet, dia duduk diam je, tak banyak komen so senang nak jaga arwah bonda i tapi my mil blum tau lagi mcm mana her reaction when she is uncapable doing her own things, hmph i shall see, like it or not i have to face it, i am the eldest in the family and it is my responsibility, to look after her, dah tertulis pun even our religion say so, so i have to accept it and face it, with the help of Almighty ALLAH, InsyaAllah, i wil persevere..........................